One Foot in the Grave
29/12/14 17:24
Another caffeine fueled day at the keyboard. Welcome to Lake George Johnny boy. Not sure where the sun went since today was supposed to be sunny. I should be thankful that it's not snowing. In fact, I remarked to Nancy yesterday on our drive here that this is probably the best few days of weather that we've ever had in making the trip here over the holidays. We'll get on over to Rollie's around 1 PM and see where that takes us. It will be good to see the folks since I haven't seen them for a while. Not since the end of September really when we were wrapping up our summer vacation on Katskill Bay. The realtor sent us a lease for this upcoming year where we were thinking of staying at the same place. I'm not so sure now. I just don't know where we'll be in September of 2015. Where will Evan be? Where will Nancy be? I'm not hopeful that we'll be in a better place despite our best efforts to get there. For now, we're happy to have a change of scenery and that is more than anything else why we are where we are today. A change of scenery with the hopes of breathing a little easier on several fronts. Most all having to do with everyone's collective and individual state of mind and overall health.
If this is any indication of just how disorganized and disjointed our lives are I can point to two quick examples; One being the fact that we forgot to bring a check for Rollie which we promised to do; the other has to do with the grab gift we purchased months ago and which not surprisingly fell off our list and out of sight when we were checking our list and checking it twice. We bought the gift but forgot to bring it when making the trip here to Lake George. That Tupperware would have been a nice grab for someone had we brought it. It wasn't too many parties ago that someone else brought the same thing and it was an instant hit. I try to keep it original in that bringing something someone else brought in years past is not something that I would ordinarily consider. In a twisted sort of way, I'm not losing any sleep over forgetting the Tupperware. I can always use another set of those containers so not to worry.
The more I think of it the more I think that going to the family grave site while we're in town may not be a good idea this time around. There are too many tie-in's to our current situation where the end result could bring us full circle to such a place and that is not a visual I'm wanting to entertain in any way, shape, or form. For the faint of heart, or otherwise emotionally compromised, it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. For one standing too close to the edge of the cliff, it could be the whisper of wind that nudges them off into the abyss. For one who struggles to cope with such scenarios, it could be the one scenario that is one scenario too many. You can only shed so many tears and I fear a few would be shed were we to visit the site. Not for those buried there, mind you, but for the possibilities that have yet to play out in the near term for those of us still alive. When and where there are matter of the heart in the mix, and there are more than a few here, we'll not do anything to make matters worse. I will say that things are likely to get worse before they get better so trips to the graveyard can wait. We may get there sooner or later but for now it can wait.
If this is any indication of just how disorganized and disjointed our lives are I can point to two quick examples; One being the fact that we forgot to bring a check for Rollie which we promised to do; the other has to do with the grab gift we purchased months ago and which not surprisingly fell off our list and out of sight when we were checking our list and checking it twice. We bought the gift but forgot to bring it when making the trip here to Lake George. That Tupperware would have been a nice grab for someone had we brought it. It wasn't too many parties ago that someone else brought the same thing and it was an instant hit. I try to keep it original in that bringing something someone else brought in years past is not something that I would ordinarily consider. In a twisted sort of way, I'm not losing any sleep over forgetting the Tupperware. I can always use another set of those containers so not to worry.
The more I think of it the more I think that going to the family grave site while we're in town may not be a good idea this time around. There are too many tie-in's to our current situation where the end result could bring us full circle to such a place and that is not a visual I'm wanting to entertain in any way, shape, or form. For the faint of heart, or otherwise emotionally compromised, it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. For one standing too close to the edge of the cliff, it could be the whisper of wind that nudges them off into the abyss. For one who struggles to cope with such scenarios, it could be the one scenario that is one scenario too many. You can only shed so many tears and I fear a few would be shed were we to visit the site. Not for those buried there, mind you, but for the possibilities that have yet to play out in the near term for those of us still alive. When and where there are matter of the heart in the mix, and there are more than a few here, we'll not do anything to make matters worse. I will say that things are likely to get worse before they get better so trips to the graveyard can wait. We may get there sooner or later but for now it can wait.