Shucks
16/06/12 07:05
Whoever said that the world is your oyster probably didn't have to shuck the damn thing first. On the way to nirvana bad things can happen. You can cut yourself. You can get a bad oyster. You can gross out your companions at the table by slurping too loudly and licking your lips as each one goes down the hatch. Deep fat-frying frying those little bastards is probably the way to go. Straight to hell, that is. One thing leads to another and the next thing you know you're waking up in the ER with nasty case of heart disease. But I digress. Point is, our neighbor called this weekend on the pretense of wanting to practice her sales pitch and she ended up selling the Mrs. a selection of knives. In the process, or on the way to nirvana, she not only cut herself but she cut the Mrs. as well. But you do what you can to further the ambitions of your neighbors children and taking a slice or two for the team is a small price to pay. I'm guessing they would do the same for our son given half a chance. Funny thing is, the young woman showing up at our house yesterday bore little resemblance to the child I remember running around the hood as a yout. Her skirt was way too short (maybe not for my tastes), had tattoos for all the world to see, was somewhat promiscuous in her presentation, and bore telltale scars of an inexperienced knife purveyor. She said she had two promotions on her first three weeks on the job. I wish her well.
Our hummingbird feeders are working well this year but not all feeders are created equal. The one outside our bedroom window, for example, is hummingbird central. Those little bastards are there 24-7. Who knew? I thought birds slept at night. Guess again. The one off the back porch is an unmitigated disaster. Some ferrel creature keeps draining the damn thing each night. My guess would be that we have a deer in the hood that has cultivated a taste for the sugar water and it keeps coming back for more. Maybe we should put the equivalent of ex-lax in the water and see what happens. Chances are they wouldn't make the connection and they would come around anyway. I even tried to put something in front of the feeder to see if that might help. Not so much. And then there is the feeder that never gets any action. We've come a long way from having no birds at the feeders and that is not lost on the Mrs.. Just a few more tweaks here and there and her seasonal role in assisting these migratory thimble-sized creatures will be complete. And then they will be gone.
We have a man coming to look at the air conditioner today in Ev's room. There are things around the house that I don't feel up to tackling and replacing the air conditioner is one of them. I think it was built into the wall when the house was built in the seventies. It has never worked well and in recent years has not worked at all. It is more of an eyesore than anything and when your appliances get to that point they lose their utility so to speak. I would care if I tried to do it and the damn thing fell to the ground. I worry about getting it out and not being able get the new one back in. What then, Johnny boy? There may be some structural damage to the wall as well and that is definitely outside my comfort zone. What the hell. If this guy is as good as advertised I may just offer him room and board until I have everything fixed that needs fixing. I have to be careful about that. I am capable of doing some things for god's sake. Besides, I like the sense of self-satisfaction that goes along with getting the job done. Every man reaches his own personal equilibrium when it comes to that sort of thing. This man is no different.
Our hummingbird feeders are working well this year but not all feeders are created equal. The one outside our bedroom window, for example, is hummingbird central. Those little bastards are there 24-7. Who knew? I thought birds slept at night. Guess again. The one off the back porch is an unmitigated disaster. Some ferrel creature keeps draining the damn thing each night. My guess would be that we have a deer in the hood that has cultivated a taste for the sugar water and it keeps coming back for more. Maybe we should put the equivalent of ex-lax in the water and see what happens. Chances are they wouldn't make the connection and they would come around anyway. I even tried to put something in front of the feeder to see if that might help. Not so much. And then there is the feeder that never gets any action. We've come a long way from having no birds at the feeders and that is not lost on the Mrs.. Just a few more tweaks here and there and her seasonal role in assisting these migratory thimble-sized creatures will be complete. And then they will be gone.
We have a man coming to look at the air conditioner today in Ev's room. There are things around the house that I don't feel up to tackling and replacing the air conditioner is one of them. I think it was built into the wall when the house was built in the seventies. It has never worked well and in recent years has not worked at all. It is more of an eyesore than anything and when your appliances get to that point they lose their utility so to speak. I would care if I tried to do it and the damn thing fell to the ground. I worry about getting it out and not being able get the new one back in. What then, Johnny boy? There may be some structural damage to the wall as well and that is definitely outside my comfort zone. What the hell. If this guy is as good as advertised I may just offer him room and board until I have everything fixed that needs fixing. I have to be careful about that. I am capable of doing some things for god's sake. Besides, I like the sense of self-satisfaction that goes along with getting the job done. Every man reaches his own personal equilibrium when it comes to that sort of thing. This man is no different.