What Would Da Say?
29/01/19 06:46
I see that Evan called me last night as I'm checking my phone this morning. He went off around 6 or so saying that he was probably going to stop and get some gas for the car somewhere and that he expected to return shortly. Where was I when he called? Why did I not heard the phone ring? I occasionally turn the ringer off but that was not the problem. I guess it couldn't have been too urgent since he didn't call any of our other numbers when I didn't answer my phone.
Maybe he was standing outside and it was too cold to follow up. Maybe he called our other numbers and no one answered those either. Maybe he fixed whatever it was that needed fixing and went along on his merry way. I think it couldn't have been much later that he arrived back at the house and without a word went directly to his room. I suspect that if I ask him today why he called last night he will ignore the question or change the subject. It's not important really but I am curious. He is just as likely to call me as he is his mother but who he calls sometimes tells you why he's calling.
He has this peculiar little problem when it comes to filling the gas tank in his mother's car. I'm not saying that is why he was calling but the timing of his call would suggest that that might well be the case. The shutoff mechanism on the gas pumps at the local Irving station seem to be extra sensitive. If you don't insert the nozzle just so it will turn off almost unexpectedly once you start to pump the gas. You end up inserting it, pulling it out a bit, and doing that time and time again until you hit the sweet spot at which point you can feel free to walk away, check the oil, clean the windshield, etc.
I've learned over time to insert the nozzle all the way and then pull it out of the tank just far enough so that the lip of the rubber gasket near the handle rests on the surface of the car instead of covering the inner gas tank lid. I don't have that problem with our other vehicles so prefer to think of it as an issue that is unique to Nancy's car.
I've not had that conversation with Evan as yet but probably should. Whether or not he has the patience to listen and learn is another question. My fear is that he will give up out of exasperation and for the sake of an easy fix he will drive away and into the night with a less than full tank of gas. I take it upon myself to check the oil in that car with some frequency since it has always used more oil than one might expect. I showed Evan how to do that check once but I don't know that I can rely on him to stay on top of it. Oh ye of little faith.
Da would be rolling over in his grave if he knew about Evan's trials and tribulations with the car. All he ever wanted for Evan was that he be a good citizen and he told him so with great regularity. Da also had a wealth of knowledge to share with a grandson who was willing to listen but I think Da passed away before Evan ever got around to asking the questions that needed to be asked.
If I knew anything about Da it was that he was downright religious when it came to maintenance about this that and the other thing and you couldn't help but learn from him. At a minimum, he taught us all to be just a little bit more curious about things we didn't know anything about. He was an engineer by training and there are times even now after he's been gone for several years where I wish he was still there to answer a question or two.
While Evan seems not to have inherited his grandfathers hairline or his penchant for all thing mechanical, his standing as a good citizen thus far anyway would likely make Da proud.
Where I might have changed my own tires or even my oil in the past, Evan wouldn't hesitate to call AAA today if he had a problem on the road. They have come to his rescue a couple of times in recent memory and he was so traumatized by one of those rescues that he swore he'd never ever drive that car again. If we as his parents learned anything from that experience, it was that Evan is and can be resourceful but we still have a responsibility to make sure that we take the necessary precautions as long as he is driving our vehicles.
As I think back on it now, we were certainly delighted and thankfully so that he was able to navigate the intricacies of the event without suffering a sensory overload or other. There are times when you just have to go with the flow. That's hard to do when you're broken down on the side of the highway in a car that has smoke pouring from beneath the hood, red lights on the dashboard flashing on and off, cars whizzing by a mere few inches away seemingly at warp speed, and with no roadmap other than your own frazzled and frayed imagination to guide you.
So when Mrs G sat across the room from Nancy and I while rocking back and forth slowly but deliberately in her chair over this past weekend while mimicking the sound of her car battery turning over ever so s-l-o-w-l-y, only to mention that her battery passed inspection but by the slimmest of margins, I held my breath waiting for her to ask the most obvious of questions. But she never did.
I thought to myself, what would Da say? What would Da do? One thing is for sure. He would have taken care of it. There would be no wondering and waiting for something to fail. Any engineer worth his salt took Entropy 101 in his or her first year. There would be no unpredictability on Da's watch. When I finally got around to asking whether or not she thought she might want to have her battery replaced when the car was in for servicing I was surprised to hear her say "no."
Her response was so un-Da like that I wasn't sure that I heard her at first. Every other aspect of the car's maintenance was looked after as Da might were he still alive. But this. This was different. This was throwing caution to the wind. This was taking an unnecessary risk. This was rolling the dice in a way that was uncharacteristic of Mrs G.
Perhaps a little risk taking is her way of fighting back against the overwhelming orderliness that has become her existence at Exeter Wood. Flirting with your nemesis in a way that inspires life can be intriguing in an otherwise whirlwind of sameness and it behooves one not to muster the necessary courage to take a step in that direction when the opportunity presents itself. It's akin perhaps to purposely leaving your door unlocked overnight or taking someone else's dinner when the bags are otherwise clearly marked with the name of the recipient living in close proximity to you at the Woods.
What would Da say? What would Da do?
Maybe he was standing outside and it was too cold to follow up. Maybe he called our other numbers and no one answered those either. Maybe he fixed whatever it was that needed fixing and went along on his merry way. I think it couldn't have been much later that he arrived back at the house and without a word went directly to his room. I suspect that if I ask him today why he called last night he will ignore the question or change the subject. It's not important really but I am curious. He is just as likely to call me as he is his mother but who he calls sometimes tells you why he's calling.
He has this peculiar little problem when it comes to filling the gas tank in his mother's car. I'm not saying that is why he was calling but the timing of his call would suggest that that might well be the case. The shutoff mechanism on the gas pumps at the local Irving station seem to be extra sensitive. If you don't insert the nozzle just so it will turn off almost unexpectedly once you start to pump the gas. You end up inserting it, pulling it out a bit, and doing that time and time again until you hit the sweet spot at which point you can feel free to walk away, check the oil, clean the windshield, etc.
I've learned over time to insert the nozzle all the way and then pull it out of the tank just far enough so that the lip of the rubber gasket near the handle rests on the surface of the car instead of covering the inner gas tank lid. I don't have that problem with our other vehicles so prefer to think of it as an issue that is unique to Nancy's car.
I've not had that conversation with Evan as yet but probably should. Whether or not he has the patience to listen and learn is another question. My fear is that he will give up out of exasperation and for the sake of an easy fix he will drive away and into the night with a less than full tank of gas. I take it upon myself to check the oil in that car with some frequency since it has always used more oil than one might expect. I showed Evan how to do that check once but I don't know that I can rely on him to stay on top of it. Oh ye of little faith.
Da would be rolling over in his grave if he knew about Evan's trials and tribulations with the car. All he ever wanted for Evan was that he be a good citizen and he told him so with great regularity. Da also had a wealth of knowledge to share with a grandson who was willing to listen but I think Da passed away before Evan ever got around to asking the questions that needed to be asked.
If I knew anything about Da it was that he was downright religious when it came to maintenance about this that and the other thing and you couldn't help but learn from him. At a minimum, he taught us all to be just a little bit more curious about things we didn't know anything about. He was an engineer by training and there are times even now after he's been gone for several years where I wish he was still there to answer a question or two.
While Evan seems not to have inherited his grandfathers hairline or his penchant for all thing mechanical, his standing as a good citizen thus far anyway would likely make Da proud.
Where I might have changed my own tires or even my oil in the past, Evan wouldn't hesitate to call AAA today if he had a problem on the road. They have come to his rescue a couple of times in recent memory and he was so traumatized by one of those rescues that he swore he'd never ever drive that car again. If we as his parents learned anything from that experience, it was that Evan is and can be resourceful but we still have a responsibility to make sure that we take the necessary precautions as long as he is driving our vehicles.
As I think back on it now, we were certainly delighted and thankfully so that he was able to navigate the intricacies of the event without suffering a sensory overload or other. There are times when you just have to go with the flow. That's hard to do when you're broken down on the side of the highway in a car that has smoke pouring from beneath the hood, red lights on the dashboard flashing on and off, cars whizzing by a mere few inches away seemingly at warp speed, and with no roadmap other than your own frazzled and frayed imagination to guide you.
So when Mrs G sat across the room from Nancy and I while rocking back and forth slowly but deliberately in her chair over this past weekend while mimicking the sound of her car battery turning over ever so s-l-o-w-l-y, only to mention that her battery passed inspection but by the slimmest of margins, I held my breath waiting for her to ask the most obvious of questions. But she never did.
I thought to myself, what would Da say? What would Da do? One thing is for sure. He would have taken care of it. There would be no wondering and waiting for something to fail. Any engineer worth his salt took Entropy 101 in his or her first year. There would be no unpredictability on Da's watch. When I finally got around to asking whether or not she thought she might want to have her battery replaced when the car was in for servicing I was surprised to hear her say "no."
Her response was so un-Da like that I wasn't sure that I heard her at first. Every other aspect of the car's maintenance was looked after as Da might were he still alive. But this. This was different. This was throwing caution to the wind. This was taking an unnecessary risk. This was rolling the dice in a way that was uncharacteristic of Mrs G.
Perhaps a little risk taking is her way of fighting back against the overwhelming orderliness that has become her existence at Exeter Wood. Flirting with your nemesis in a way that inspires life can be intriguing in an otherwise whirlwind of sameness and it behooves one not to muster the necessary courage to take a step in that direction when the opportunity presents itself. It's akin perhaps to purposely leaving your door unlocked overnight or taking someone else's dinner when the bags are otherwise clearly marked with the name of the recipient living in close proximity to you at the Woods.
What would Da say? What would Da do?