Memorial Day Weekend 2013
24/05/13 07:36
I think this holiday couldn't have come along soon enough. I've been feeling ever so slightly mentally fatigued as of late and for no particular reason. I should probably be taking more time off from work than I do but that is the way it goes in the first few months of every new year. You wake up one day and you realize that the year is half way done and you're gasping for air. You need a new drug. You need a distraction that takes you far away from the maddening crowds. Television no longer does the trick. Biking is good and I am more likely to get hooked on the high it gives me but you can only bike so far in any given day. Relationships of every ilk are good but they too can be cloying rather than clearing so I don't rely on them in any meaningful way. You like to think that family time can offer you a renewed center but children have issues and when children have issues the parents have issues. And, god knows we have issues. I do think that our surroundings have become cluttered as well and it is more than likely nothing more than a reflection of our collective mental states here at home. So, maybe the answer I'm looking for is right under my nose. Maybe all it takes is to go through our home one room at a time and attack this thing from the bottom up. Maybe that is the place to start. It is a feng shui approach to clearing the slate so I can start anew. I like it. Now the challenge becomes getting the family on board. That will be difficult. Another circular challenge. It's a wonder that anything gets done.
The patterns with that boy just don't change. These are the patterns that have in no small way contributed to the dismal failures in his academic track record. The symptoms are ever present. Easy to see and known to those of us who are closest to him. Known to us but not easily remedied. How do you explain a boy who comes home from school each day and sleeps for hours on end. Doesn't he have work to do? Doesn't he have exams to study for? I asked him once if he was familiar with the word "procrastination" and if he thought he might be a procrastinator. He didn't think he was, of course, so I didn't pursue that line of questioning. You wonder as a parent what your child is thinking but that's all you can do. You get the e-mails from his teachers saying that he's checked out; e-mails from his counselors reminding us of work that he still has to do so he can graduate; and yet there is little in his behavior that suggests he is attuned to any of those issues. For a boy who has plans to go to college in a few months, he is not only not finishing strong in these final few weeks but I suspect now that he has fallen too far behind to ever catch up. Perhaps he has more important priorities. What they are I can only surmise but I worry that his choices are not healthy ones. He may even have issues with substance abuse, which if I am correct, can literally suck the lifeblood out of you. He's eighteen now and capable of making his own decisions. If only I had more faith in him to make the right decisions. I don't.
The patterns with that boy just don't change. These are the patterns that have in no small way contributed to the dismal failures in his academic track record. The symptoms are ever present. Easy to see and known to those of us who are closest to him. Known to us but not easily remedied. How do you explain a boy who comes home from school each day and sleeps for hours on end. Doesn't he have work to do? Doesn't he have exams to study for? I asked him once if he was familiar with the word "procrastination" and if he thought he might be a procrastinator. He didn't think he was, of course, so I didn't pursue that line of questioning. You wonder as a parent what your child is thinking but that's all you can do. You get the e-mails from his teachers saying that he's checked out; e-mails from his counselors reminding us of work that he still has to do so he can graduate; and yet there is little in his behavior that suggests he is attuned to any of those issues. For a boy who has plans to go to college in a few months, he is not only not finishing strong in these final few weeks but I suspect now that he has fallen too far behind to ever catch up. Perhaps he has more important priorities. What they are I can only surmise but I worry that his choices are not healthy ones. He may even have issues with substance abuse, which if I am correct, can literally suck the lifeblood out of you. He's eighteen now and capable of making his own decisions. If only I had more faith in him to make the right decisions. I don't.