Without Further Adieu
25/12/18 06:37
And all through the house nothing was stirring not even a mouse. Merry Christmas everyone! Yep, it's Christmas day 2018. I still have one or two presents to wrap but that aside I think we're good to go. The only thing I asked Santa for this year was a pair of slippers. What more does a man need. Right? I bought my darling a little something that she has been talking about for a while and I think she bought a thing or two for herself that she plans on surprising herself with when we get around to unwrapping everything. How exactly does that work?
Nancy asked me last week that I have a word with Evan to make sure that he knows Christmas is coming and that he should be sure to get his mother a little something. I was having none of it. If he can't figure that out for himself then it is what it is. It's one of those you can't lead a horse to water type deals. Last year Evan surprised both of us with books that he thought we might enjoy. If I recall, it was a book of cookie recipes for his mom and Michael Savage's latest book for me. As presents go, they were lovely. And neither of us prompted him to get those particular gifts so that was a plus. I knew he had it in him.
Quite honestly, if he bought me nothing that would be fine with me. I might even prefer that he not spend money he doesn't have just to do it for the sake of doing it. Christmas is that kind of holiday unfortunately. Oh, and did I tell you that I asked Santa for a lightbulb fixture with a motion detection sensor for our garage? We have plenty of lights in the garage now and there is no shortage of on and off switches to control those lights. But wouldn't it be nice if I never had to flip another switch when walking in and out of the garage? I might like that. Yessiree Bob.
We've been after Evan for some time now to think about going over to visit his grandmother who he hasn't seen for the better part of three years. It has not been for a lack of desire or trying on his part. I guess you could say that he might have tried a little harder but that ignores the bigger elephant in the room. Maybe it was our persistence or his wanting to do it after not having done it for the longest time. I would be derelict in my intentions were I not to hastily add that Evan and Mrs G have always been tight. After all, what grandmother doesn't unconditionally love her grandchild and what child doesn't love his grandmother with every fibre of his being?
Their relationship being what it was and is made it even more difficult for Mrs G to fathom why she never saw her grandson. After a while she just stopped asking about him when his momma and I would visit every weekend. Some things were just better not discussed. But I think his continued absence raised questions and concerns that simply went unanswered and to say that it was always in the back of our minds during our visitations as his parents is an understatement. But he finally decided for whatever reason that the time had come.
He was surprisingly willing after not being willing for such a long time that we thought he might change his mind at the last minute. Well, maybe "not being willing" is a little harsh. We wondered how we might get him to commit without having him feel the pressure of the commitment thinking that that alone might give him pause and perhaps even reason to not go through with it.
"We'll call Nana and tell her we're coming over for quick visit", we suggested to him. He seemed game so we talked a little more. "Let's sit in the front room and we'll call Nana right now and tell her we're coming for a visit." Nancy made the call with the speaker phone on and Evan could hear the excitement in her voice when we told her we were coming over with him to see her for a quick visit. The excitement in her voice was palpable and resonated with a heartfelt anticipation.
I think Evan was maybe a little nervous but only because so much time had passed since he had last seen her. It was only on the ride home after our visit did he admit to experiencing a certain catharsis as a result of making the visit. It was by his own admission a weight off his shoulders and it was good to hear him say it. Maybe even an ice breaker of sorts. Who knows, he might even plan to come wth us from time to time on our weekly visitations now that he has a better lay of the land.
The visit itself was emotional for all of us although we as his parents tried not to tip our hand that this was as consequential a visit for our son as it was for his grandmother. It was not our time, it was their time. We were just there as intermediaries in the event that we needed to fill in awkward silences or to head off lines off questioning not knowing how or where discussions might take us.
There is a walking on eggshells quality to these sorts of things sometimes although we as parents tend to get a little ahead of ourselves when we worry needlessly about things that will more than likely just never come to fruition. It would behoove us as well not to have a little more faith in our only son from time to time. All that said, Evan and his grandmother had a nice time catching up after having a good hug at the outset. She spent a bit of time going over family photographs in a calendar with him and it was a whirlwind visual and audio overview that probably left his head spinning. He is just not oriented whatsoever to certain relatives not to mention their associated histories.
I suppose it is a grandparents lot in life to spell it all out and I think the calendar was a good platform from which to launch that discussion. She showed Evan around her apartment and we all took a stroll down the hallway outside her apartment in order to give Evan an extended view of the premises. All of the discussion about meal plans and other niceties seemed to pique his interest.
I think the idea of not having to prepare meals was intriguing to him and that came as no surprise knowing what we know of his dietary issues. As a matter of fact, that is one of my greatest concerns when it comes to his living independently. Mrs G baked him some cheese puff type things which he shared with his mom and it may have been the first thing he had to eat all day. Thats what I'm talking about. He ate none of the chocolate kisses that were readily available but his mom and I had more than our share. If there were any residual pins and needles, surely a massive dose of chocolate would smooth out the jagged edges. And they did.
So there you have it. The visit was by far the best gift that Mrs G could give to Evan, the best gift that Evan could give to his grandmother, and for we as his parents, a monumental relief in more ways than one. It was a terrific way to end the year and quite possibly the start of better things to come all around. One can only hope.
Nancy asked me last week that I have a word with Evan to make sure that he knows Christmas is coming and that he should be sure to get his mother a little something. I was having none of it. If he can't figure that out for himself then it is what it is. It's one of those you can't lead a horse to water type deals. Last year Evan surprised both of us with books that he thought we might enjoy. If I recall, it was a book of cookie recipes for his mom and Michael Savage's latest book for me. As presents go, they were lovely. And neither of us prompted him to get those particular gifts so that was a plus. I knew he had it in him.
Quite honestly, if he bought me nothing that would be fine with me. I might even prefer that he not spend money he doesn't have just to do it for the sake of doing it. Christmas is that kind of holiday unfortunately. Oh, and did I tell you that I asked Santa for a lightbulb fixture with a motion detection sensor for our garage? We have plenty of lights in the garage now and there is no shortage of on and off switches to control those lights. But wouldn't it be nice if I never had to flip another switch when walking in and out of the garage? I might like that. Yessiree Bob.
We've been after Evan for some time now to think about going over to visit his grandmother who he hasn't seen for the better part of three years. It has not been for a lack of desire or trying on his part. I guess you could say that he might have tried a little harder but that ignores the bigger elephant in the room. Maybe it was our persistence or his wanting to do it after not having done it for the longest time. I would be derelict in my intentions were I not to hastily add that Evan and Mrs G have always been tight. After all, what grandmother doesn't unconditionally love her grandchild and what child doesn't love his grandmother with every fibre of his being?
Their relationship being what it was and is made it even more difficult for Mrs G to fathom why she never saw her grandson. After a while she just stopped asking about him when his momma and I would visit every weekend. Some things were just better not discussed. But I think his continued absence raised questions and concerns that simply went unanswered and to say that it was always in the back of our minds during our visitations as his parents is an understatement. But he finally decided for whatever reason that the time had come.
He was surprisingly willing after not being willing for such a long time that we thought he might change his mind at the last minute. Well, maybe "not being willing" is a little harsh. We wondered how we might get him to commit without having him feel the pressure of the commitment thinking that that alone might give him pause and perhaps even reason to not go through with it.
"We'll call Nana and tell her we're coming over for quick visit", we suggested to him. He seemed game so we talked a little more. "Let's sit in the front room and we'll call Nana right now and tell her we're coming for a visit." Nancy made the call with the speaker phone on and Evan could hear the excitement in her voice when we told her we were coming over with him to see her for a quick visit. The excitement in her voice was palpable and resonated with a heartfelt anticipation.
I think Evan was maybe a little nervous but only because so much time had passed since he had last seen her. It was only on the ride home after our visit did he admit to experiencing a certain catharsis as a result of making the visit. It was by his own admission a weight off his shoulders and it was good to hear him say it. Maybe even an ice breaker of sorts. Who knows, he might even plan to come wth us from time to time on our weekly visitations now that he has a better lay of the land.
The visit itself was emotional for all of us although we as his parents tried not to tip our hand that this was as consequential a visit for our son as it was for his grandmother. It was not our time, it was their time. We were just there as intermediaries in the event that we needed to fill in awkward silences or to head off lines off questioning not knowing how or where discussions might take us.
There is a walking on eggshells quality to these sorts of things sometimes although we as parents tend to get a little ahead of ourselves when we worry needlessly about things that will more than likely just never come to fruition. It would behoove us as well not to have a little more faith in our only son from time to time. All that said, Evan and his grandmother had a nice time catching up after having a good hug at the outset. She spent a bit of time going over family photographs in a calendar with him and it was a whirlwind visual and audio overview that probably left his head spinning. He is just not oriented whatsoever to certain relatives not to mention their associated histories.
I suppose it is a grandparents lot in life to spell it all out and I think the calendar was a good platform from which to launch that discussion. She showed Evan around her apartment and we all took a stroll down the hallway outside her apartment in order to give Evan an extended view of the premises. All of the discussion about meal plans and other niceties seemed to pique his interest.
I think the idea of not having to prepare meals was intriguing to him and that came as no surprise knowing what we know of his dietary issues. As a matter of fact, that is one of my greatest concerns when it comes to his living independently. Mrs G baked him some cheese puff type things which he shared with his mom and it may have been the first thing he had to eat all day. Thats what I'm talking about. He ate none of the chocolate kisses that were readily available but his mom and I had more than our share. If there were any residual pins and needles, surely a massive dose of chocolate would smooth out the jagged edges. And they did.
So there you have it. The visit was by far the best gift that Mrs G could give to Evan, the best gift that Evan could give to his grandmother, and for we as his parents, a monumental relief in more ways than one. It was a terrific way to end the year and quite possibly the start of better things to come all around. One can only hope.