Pace Orientation
20/07/13 07:19
We're here in Tarrytown, NY for day one of Evan's orientation at Pace University. We're in the middle of a heat wave in the Northeast. Temperatures this week through Sunday are expected to be in the middle to upper 90's. Nancy is doing her best but I question her ability to cope. She has already said that she is going to have a tough time doing all of this and the heat isn't making it any easier. I reminded her that I was the one who drove down with the implication that if anyone had the right to whine it was me. She reminded me that she offered to drive. I just don't want to give her any more reasons than she already has to not like this whole Pace arrangement. I told her over breakfast in the lobby while our son slept away back in the hotel room that if we were bringing Evan to Yale that she wouldn't be whining nearly as much. Her only response was that Yale was not as far away. I'm not so sure.
I will have to send Rollie a text to tell him that we're having breakfast in the Tarrytown Marriot. I believe this area is a destination for him as it relates to his job and he has been coming down here for many years. I thought we might get together with him down here but he wasn't sure that he was going to be around. That's fine. Nancy and I were a little concerned that the double beds might be a problem but it wasn't too bad. The bed was actually quite comfortable and the bedding was nicely done. It reminded me that we should do something with our bedding at home and there is nothing like a heat wave to remind you that all is not quite right. Too much wool and warmth and not enough thread count if you know what I mean.
But, I am ready for Fall at this point. The heat is hard to take and the next few days at Pace could be very trying. All we need is to have a room without air conditioning. You might have thought that when we asked for the accommodations at Pace that they might have mentioned that they had no air conditioning. They did not so maybe we will be pleasantly surprised. I guess we have the option of skipping the planned activities if we feel that it is too much and we're certainly not shy about making those kinds of decisions. If we end up in a third floor walk-up with no air conditioning that could be a killer. I just don't want to think the worst and that is not my tendency so I won't go there in spades. I'll leave the self-torment to Nancy. She can stew for the two if us if necessary.
Did we make a bad choice last night or what? Ordering food from a local restaurant was not the best choice. It was expensive and second rate to be sure. I am being kind. Evan's ravioli didn't look particularly appealing but he was hungry and he did his best to put a brave face on while eating. I ordered a tuna sub and tuna was hard to find even after separating the two halves of the roll where beneath a single pickle and tomato laid a slim smattering of tuna. I had brought a salad of my own and ate that and only pieces of the sub. I guess they figured that we were not going to be coming back anytime soon so why bother with the quality. They got that right. Not anytime soon is an understatement. I think Nancy got a Caesar wrap which seemed ok and the fries they ordered were soggy and just unappetizing. Not sure what we were thinking when we placed that order. It was an expensive lesson.
As tempted as I was to go to Starbucks across the highway this morning I sucked it up and drank coffee in the breakfast area. I guess they just don't bother with quality when it comes to the transients. They spend so much time and effort in making the rest of the hotel experience a good one for their guests but overlook the more subtle necessities of the experience which, at least for me, includes a quality cup of java. Don't know what I'll find at the college for quality but it could be a while before I get a good cup of coffee again. Sometimes it's just the buzz and that is all I need. The iced coffee that we bought at Dunkin Donuts before starting our trip was icy and delicious and provided many miles of enjoyment. That sewer water I had no more than an hour ago is long gone but has left me somewhat edgy and unsatisfied.
Time is running short this morning. It's 8:47 am and we need to be at Pace at 10. Evan is in the bathroom camping out as is his usual practice and when gets out of there he will need to go get a bite to eat. If he is smart he won't load up on garbage so we'll see where that goes. In the world around us, the radical left is up in arms at the perceived injustice rendered at the Zimmerman trial. Yes, the jury found him innocent of manslaughter. It's time to move on. Not those fucking left wingers whose idea of justice is what they say it is and nothing less.
Can you believe those assholes are casting a nationwide net to find out if anyone anywhere knows anything about George Zimmerman and his so called proclivities towards racism? Are they fucking nuts? Will they stop at nothing to exact their own version of justice? These are the same liberals who rejoiced at the jury's acquittal of OJ Simpson even though everyone knew he was guilty of slaughtering two people in cold blood. There is no end to the collective guilt that the left feels over the treatment of blacks and minorities going back hundreds of years and there is no end to which they will not go to now rectify that injustice. Thankfully, the Zimmerman jury was not swayed by this nonsense and came in with the right verdict for a change.
Thursday, July 17th, 2013
Day 2 of orientation here at Pace. I was hoping to get an earlier start with my journal today but it just didn't work out. It may have had something to do with the fact that Nancy and I ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor after scrunching up together on her twin mattress until we could scrunch no more. I'm not sure that we did any better on the floor but it was a welcome change from what we were doing so there you have it. I should have turned down the air conditioner sooner. Had I done that, we might well have done just fine with the one blanket that we had between the two of us. I would have used the blanket and would have stayed on my bed and she would have used a sheet in place of a blanket and would have stayed in her own bed.
Since I slept less well, I slept in later than I should have. That gave me less time to do the things I wanted to do before we headed off for our day's activities. As tired as I was, I could not forgo my coffee at Starbucks. The coffee here on campus is horrific and the only milk they offer is whole milk or cream. What century are they living in? Who drinks cream in their coffee anymore? Milk I can understand. I will use milk in a pinch but only in a pinch. My preference is to use skim milk. So I dragged my tired ass out of bed and out the door and took the 10 minute drive in to downtown Pleasantville.
Not sure why I keep confusing it with Plainville. This particular Starbucks in in the center of town near the railway station where commuters leave their vehicles and take the train into town for the day. That may well explain why this Starbucks is open and the ungodly hour of 5:30 in the morning. Downtown Pleasantville is your typical downtown that you might expect to see in any middle class town and in any middle class city in the USA. It has the additional mantle of being a college town of sorts although being here during the summer when students are between semesters is not especially telltale. I'm not sure that I have ever seen a busier Starbucks and that place was hopping both this morning and yesterday afternoon when we stopped in. This morning, anyway, I grabbed my coffee and sat for about an hour with my iPad before heading back to catch breakfast at 8:15 at the University. Can't imagine how much busier the store would be were school in session.
They have the kids off on a different track than the parents and it is planned so that your paths only intersect when they are designed to do so. Evan is one of two or three kids who are wearing hats in the group so he is easy to see when scanning the groups. The hats worn backwards are indicative of bad boys with attitudes to match and while we don't see that in our son it is something he wishes to communicate so that is what he does. There are times when I wish he would lose the hat. Just leave the damn thing behind. Children will be children and they are as varied in their modes of dress and style as they are in their preferences for different flavors of ice cream so you leave well enough alone. It is better to let these things come and go than to focus attention and make more of it than it deserves. It just isn't worth it. Life is too short.
Friday, July 19th, 2013
Whew. What a fucking night. And those damn racoons. There is still one stuck in the dumpster. I wonder if we'll hear him screeching this morning. Didn't matter much that Nancy called security last night to report. They just didn't seem interested. Poor little bastard. Did you hear him crying? Maybe the big news of the day was the skit at the end of the day. All the various groups, including ours, put on a little thing for the kids and they for us. Evan's group did their thing and he did his own thing within the group. He demonstrated very little rhythm and suspiciously less rhythm than we thought that boy possessed. All his nigga this and nigga that? You might have thought he was living the nigga blues and getting jiggy with the brothers. But, no. No evidence of that last night. Wonder why not.
What we did see was a disengaged Evan. He seemed as though he might have preferred to be elsewhere although you can probably say that of most boys his age. He sat somewhat at the end of the line of kids of his group on the bleachers and had on his silly hat with a backwards orientation as is his usually style. After their performance, he was standing against the rails at the top of the bleacher section all alone. It is indicative of his demeanor and attitude overall but we were hoping to see him get out of his box a little and engage with his peers. The dirty little secret to getting the most out of college is that you have to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow and prosper and become the enlightened lad they said yes to when he submitted his application to go to school there.
Maybe we know less about his comfort zone than we thought we did. It may be a bear trap of a comfort zone where no light gets in and no light gets out. In the absence of light, there is no growth, no game, no fun, and no life. Only he knows for sure but we see the results of his mind set and can come to few other conclusions. Our responsibilities as parents is to make the opportunities available to him but he needs to do his part. I think he is just scared. Maybe petrified. I wish he would treat it like a high wire event where he and his friend Noah just did it and got out of it what they put into it. I had a fleeting thought that maybe that boy needs something like military school where he follows a predictable path day in and day out. There are no new ideas; no room for invention or curiosity; no slack in the curriculum; and you get pretty damn good at bouncing pennies off your bedsheets at the end of the day but not much else.
Instead of college, he should be going to trade school. The rub there is that he wants to do what his brothers are doing and they, for the most part, are going off to school. Maybe it makes more sense for him to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Mussig and Mr. Kelley. Those boys are going to school of cooking and welding respectively. They are not going to an institution of higher learning where ideas and the exchange of same are part and parcel of the curriculum. That is not what they do. That is not what they will do for the rest of their lives. I applaud their parents for putting their boys in a position to succeed knowing what they do about their children's abilities. Forget the drinking and all of that nonsense. That is but an adolescent backdrop and a footnote to their timelines. It is what Nancy wants, of course. She wants him trained to do something. She doesn't want him to do what she did. I think she forever laments the fact that she didn't take up nursing, physical therapy, or some other discipline. I personally think that she needs to get over that but I think the lesson is not lost as it relates to Evan.
What then, do we do? The ride home today should be interesting. We've been here for three days of intensive training on everything PACE. We are unlikely to hear anything from Evan on what he experienced. Maybe if we ignore him he will speak on the subject. Maybe he will say that it is not for him. It is not too late. How do we say that to him without appearing to discourage him? That will only send him deeper into the abyss and then we're left playing the waiting game until we bring him back to Pace some weeks from now. Maybe if Nancy and I just talk it up a little and see if he picks up on the conversation and we can take that wherever it goes. What I think is going to happen is that he will take to his iPhone and we won't hear from him until we get back to New Hampshire. Maybe, now that I think of it, he has been going through withdrawal while here at Pace. That might explain his apparent disinterest. He misses his drink; his Twitter; his texts; his friends; his smoke; his chew; and his bad boy buds.
Fact of the matter is that they too will be going somewhere a month from now and whatever comfort that gives him will have to be taken from somewhere else. I think he can prosper at Pace given half a chance. We are going to give him that half chance. I won't spend a lot of time telling you that his mother and I decided that we would not go whole hog on the premium meal plan because it is non-refundable and we're just not sure he's going to make it through a semester. How do you like that for wishful thinking? Getting through four years could be a herculean task but if he makes it through the first semester, the first few weeks, the first few days. God help us. What is to become of that boy?
Like parents, like son? I guess we weren't much different last night. We were tired and not wanting to engage with our group when the time came for singing and dancing. It was as simple as that. And we expected something different from our son? But, we've had a lifetime of doing differently and have shown Evan that there are always options. Options to do something different; be someone different; be what he wants to be. He has always had that latitude. Maybe that was not the way to go. Oh, well. My time here at Starbucks and Pace is coming to a close and it is time to go back to the room to check out. It was a telling time for everyone. Let's not take too much from it other than to say we went, we experienced, and we learned. That is all you can say about anything you do in life but you have to take the first step. This is Evan's first step and we're hoping he takes something from it. His very life depends on it.
I will have to send Rollie a text to tell him that we're having breakfast in the Tarrytown Marriot. I believe this area is a destination for him as it relates to his job and he has been coming down here for many years. I thought we might get together with him down here but he wasn't sure that he was going to be around. That's fine. Nancy and I were a little concerned that the double beds might be a problem but it wasn't too bad. The bed was actually quite comfortable and the bedding was nicely done. It reminded me that we should do something with our bedding at home and there is nothing like a heat wave to remind you that all is not quite right. Too much wool and warmth and not enough thread count if you know what I mean.
But, I am ready for Fall at this point. The heat is hard to take and the next few days at Pace could be very trying. All we need is to have a room without air conditioning. You might have thought that when we asked for the accommodations at Pace that they might have mentioned that they had no air conditioning. They did not so maybe we will be pleasantly surprised. I guess we have the option of skipping the planned activities if we feel that it is too much and we're certainly not shy about making those kinds of decisions. If we end up in a third floor walk-up with no air conditioning that could be a killer. I just don't want to think the worst and that is not my tendency so I won't go there in spades. I'll leave the self-torment to Nancy. She can stew for the two if us if necessary.
Did we make a bad choice last night or what? Ordering food from a local restaurant was not the best choice. It was expensive and second rate to be sure. I am being kind. Evan's ravioli didn't look particularly appealing but he was hungry and he did his best to put a brave face on while eating. I ordered a tuna sub and tuna was hard to find even after separating the two halves of the roll where beneath a single pickle and tomato laid a slim smattering of tuna. I had brought a salad of my own and ate that and only pieces of the sub. I guess they figured that we were not going to be coming back anytime soon so why bother with the quality. They got that right. Not anytime soon is an understatement. I think Nancy got a Caesar wrap which seemed ok and the fries they ordered were soggy and just unappetizing. Not sure what we were thinking when we placed that order. It was an expensive lesson.
As tempted as I was to go to Starbucks across the highway this morning I sucked it up and drank coffee in the breakfast area. I guess they just don't bother with quality when it comes to the transients. They spend so much time and effort in making the rest of the hotel experience a good one for their guests but overlook the more subtle necessities of the experience which, at least for me, includes a quality cup of java. Don't know what I'll find at the college for quality but it could be a while before I get a good cup of coffee again. Sometimes it's just the buzz and that is all I need. The iced coffee that we bought at Dunkin Donuts before starting our trip was icy and delicious and provided many miles of enjoyment. That sewer water I had no more than an hour ago is long gone but has left me somewhat edgy and unsatisfied.
Time is running short this morning. It's 8:47 am and we need to be at Pace at 10. Evan is in the bathroom camping out as is his usual practice and when gets out of there he will need to go get a bite to eat. If he is smart he won't load up on garbage so we'll see where that goes. In the world around us, the radical left is up in arms at the perceived injustice rendered at the Zimmerman trial. Yes, the jury found him innocent of manslaughter. It's time to move on. Not those fucking left wingers whose idea of justice is what they say it is and nothing less.
Can you believe those assholes are casting a nationwide net to find out if anyone anywhere knows anything about George Zimmerman and his so called proclivities towards racism? Are they fucking nuts? Will they stop at nothing to exact their own version of justice? These are the same liberals who rejoiced at the jury's acquittal of OJ Simpson even though everyone knew he was guilty of slaughtering two people in cold blood. There is no end to the collective guilt that the left feels over the treatment of blacks and minorities going back hundreds of years and there is no end to which they will not go to now rectify that injustice. Thankfully, the Zimmerman jury was not swayed by this nonsense and came in with the right verdict for a change.
Thursday, July 17th, 2013
Day 2 of orientation here at Pace. I was hoping to get an earlier start with my journal today but it just didn't work out. It may have had something to do with the fact that Nancy and I ended up sleeping on a mattress on the floor after scrunching up together on her twin mattress until we could scrunch no more. I'm not sure that we did any better on the floor but it was a welcome change from what we were doing so there you have it. I should have turned down the air conditioner sooner. Had I done that, we might well have done just fine with the one blanket that we had between the two of us. I would have used the blanket and would have stayed on my bed and she would have used a sheet in place of a blanket and would have stayed in her own bed.
Since I slept less well, I slept in later than I should have. That gave me less time to do the things I wanted to do before we headed off for our day's activities. As tired as I was, I could not forgo my coffee at Starbucks. The coffee here on campus is horrific and the only milk they offer is whole milk or cream. What century are they living in? Who drinks cream in their coffee anymore? Milk I can understand. I will use milk in a pinch but only in a pinch. My preference is to use skim milk. So I dragged my tired ass out of bed and out the door and took the 10 minute drive in to downtown Pleasantville.
Not sure why I keep confusing it with Plainville. This particular Starbucks in in the center of town near the railway station where commuters leave their vehicles and take the train into town for the day. That may well explain why this Starbucks is open and the ungodly hour of 5:30 in the morning. Downtown Pleasantville is your typical downtown that you might expect to see in any middle class town and in any middle class city in the USA. It has the additional mantle of being a college town of sorts although being here during the summer when students are between semesters is not especially telltale. I'm not sure that I have ever seen a busier Starbucks and that place was hopping both this morning and yesterday afternoon when we stopped in. This morning, anyway, I grabbed my coffee and sat for about an hour with my iPad before heading back to catch breakfast at 8:15 at the University. Can't imagine how much busier the store would be were school in session.
They have the kids off on a different track than the parents and it is planned so that your paths only intersect when they are designed to do so. Evan is one of two or three kids who are wearing hats in the group so he is easy to see when scanning the groups. The hats worn backwards are indicative of bad boys with attitudes to match and while we don't see that in our son it is something he wishes to communicate so that is what he does. There are times when I wish he would lose the hat. Just leave the damn thing behind. Children will be children and they are as varied in their modes of dress and style as they are in their preferences for different flavors of ice cream so you leave well enough alone. It is better to let these things come and go than to focus attention and make more of it than it deserves. It just isn't worth it. Life is too short.
Friday, July 19th, 2013
Whew. What a fucking night. And those damn racoons. There is still one stuck in the dumpster. I wonder if we'll hear him screeching this morning. Didn't matter much that Nancy called security last night to report. They just didn't seem interested. Poor little bastard. Did you hear him crying? Maybe the big news of the day was the skit at the end of the day. All the various groups, including ours, put on a little thing for the kids and they for us. Evan's group did their thing and he did his own thing within the group. He demonstrated very little rhythm and suspiciously less rhythm than we thought that boy possessed. All his nigga this and nigga that? You might have thought he was living the nigga blues and getting jiggy with the brothers. But, no. No evidence of that last night. Wonder why not.
What we did see was a disengaged Evan. He seemed as though he might have preferred to be elsewhere although you can probably say that of most boys his age. He sat somewhat at the end of the line of kids of his group on the bleachers and had on his silly hat with a backwards orientation as is his usually style. After their performance, he was standing against the rails at the top of the bleacher section all alone. It is indicative of his demeanor and attitude overall but we were hoping to see him get out of his box a little and engage with his peers. The dirty little secret to getting the most out of college is that you have to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow and prosper and become the enlightened lad they said yes to when he submitted his application to go to school there.
Maybe we know less about his comfort zone than we thought we did. It may be a bear trap of a comfort zone where no light gets in and no light gets out. In the absence of light, there is no growth, no game, no fun, and no life. Only he knows for sure but we see the results of his mind set and can come to few other conclusions. Our responsibilities as parents is to make the opportunities available to him but he needs to do his part. I think he is just scared. Maybe petrified. I wish he would treat it like a high wire event where he and his friend Noah just did it and got out of it what they put into it. I had a fleeting thought that maybe that boy needs something like military school where he follows a predictable path day in and day out. There are no new ideas; no room for invention or curiosity; no slack in the curriculum; and you get pretty damn good at bouncing pennies off your bedsheets at the end of the day but not much else.
Instead of college, he should be going to trade school. The rub there is that he wants to do what his brothers are doing and they, for the most part, are going off to school. Maybe it makes more sense for him to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Mussig and Mr. Kelley. Those boys are going to school of cooking and welding respectively. They are not going to an institution of higher learning where ideas and the exchange of same are part and parcel of the curriculum. That is not what they do. That is not what they will do for the rest of their lives. I applaud their parents for putting their boys in a position to succeed knowing what they do about their children's abilities. Forget the drinking and all of that nonsense. That is but an adolescent backdrop and a footnote to their timelines. It is what Nancy wants, of course. She wants him trained to do something. She doesn't want him to do what she did. I think she forever laments the fact that she didn't take up nursing, physical therapy, or some other discipline. I personally think that she needs to get over that but I think the lesson is not lost as it relates to Evan.
What then, do we do? The ride home today should be interesting. We've been here for three days of intensive training on everything PACE. We are unlikely to hear anything from Evan on what he experienced. Maybe if we ignore him he will speak on the subject. Maybe he will say that it is not for him. It is not too late. How do we say that to him without appearing to discourage him? That will only send him deeper into the abyss and then we're left playing the waiting game until we bring him back to Pace some weeks from now. Maybe if Nancy and I just talk it up a little and see if he picks up on the conversation and we can take that wherever it goes. What I think is going to happen is that he will take to his iPhone and we won't hear from him until we get back to New Hampshire. Maybe, now that I think of it, he has been going through withdrawal while here at Pace. That might explain his apparent disinterest. He misses his drink; his Twitter; his texts; his friends; his smoke; his chew; and his bad boy buds.
Fact of the matter is that they too will be going somewhere a month from now and whatever comfort that gives him will have to be taken from somewhere else. I think he can prosper at Pace given half a chance. We are going to give him that half chance. I won't spend a lot of time telling you that his mother and I decided that we would not go whole hog on the premium meal plan because it is non-refundable and we're just not sure he's going to make it through a semester. How do you like that for wishful thinking? Getting through four years could be a herculean task but if he makes it through the first semester, the first few weeks, the first few days. God help us. What is to become of that boy?
Like parents, like son? I guess we weren't much different last night. We were tired and not wanting to engage with our group when the time came for singing and dancing. It was as simple as that. And we expected something different from our son? But, we've had a lifetime of doing differently and have shown Evan that there are always options. Options to do something different; be someone different; be what he wants to be. He has always had that latitude. Maybe that was not the way to go. Oh, well. My time here at Starbucks and Pace is coming to a close and it is time to go back to the room to check out. It was a telling time for everyone. Let's not take too much from it other than to say we went, we experienced, and we learned. That is all you can say about anything you do in life but you have to take the first step. This is Evan's first step and we're hoping he takes something from it. His very life depends on it.